Various worried forest creatures look on as Daffy, Bugs, and Elmer walk along smiling nervously. Each of the three fails to hide a weapon behind them. Daffy has a club, Bugs a mallet, and Elmer a rifle.
The end of the twenty-first century finds the Looney Tunes threatened with "soft, squeakier cartoon heroes...that hold hands and dance in a circle to bad music." So Acme Labs researchers have created Project Harmony, an isolation environment designed to make its inhabits more gentle, tolerant, and caring. Elmer, Daffy, and Bugs have volunteered for the project. Daffy hopes to get money from book and lecture tours while Bugs looks forward to free carrots and Elmer expects free rabbits. Petunia Pig, field reporting, covers the project. As the three are sealed inside a big dome, Wile E. Coyote rolls a boulder into place, hoping to flatten Road Runner...
Inside, Bugs wants to just check things out and eat - alone. Elmer insists on some interaction and Daffy almost hits him with a sledgehammer, but is thwarted by a suddenly appearing barrier. Project Harmony insists the toons play nice. Bugs and Elmer each walk off to check out their rooms, leaving Daffy steamed at being cooped up and monitored. The three grudgingly adapt...for a little while.
By the end of the first day Elmer tries baking, Daffy turns athletic, and Bugs meditates. Petunia makes another report as Wile E. tries jet-propelled roller skates in his quest to catch Road Runner.
The second day has Elmer pretending to hunt, with plush toys as his quarry. Daffy gets hungry for pizza and irate when his cellular phone is confiscated by a Project Harmony robot. Bugs relaxes with all the carrots he can eat, until he eats all of them and craves more. The three snap and rush to the exit with a common purpose: escape.
The three are warned that opening the exit is forbidden. They ignore the warning and are drenched as sprinklers activate to cool their tempers. Outside, Wile E. sets up a catapult and ties himself to a boulder in the catapult. When the Road Runner stops by Petunia, Wile E. launches himself...and crashes through the dome. The story is closed by Petunia, who notes that the Looney Tunes will always be at odds with each other. Elmer, Bugs, Daffy, and Wile E. sprawl in a puddle, recovering from their ordeal.
A few people are gathered in front of Gizmo ' R ' Us to watch the lottery draw on the televisions in the window. Bugs watches and reads out the numbers as Daffy walks away, calling the lottery a scam. Daffy turns back when Bugs read out the numbers. They're Daffy's numbers.
Daffy dashes to collect his winnings, but stops fast when Bugs reminds him he should have his lottery ticket. A panicked Daffy searches his apartment, making a mess of it. He remembers Porky was with him when he bought the ticket and finds the pig in the street. Daffy flusters Porky, not giving him a chance to remember anything.
A pause resulting from a steamroller shakes the duck's memory and he recalls where he left his ticket. Back at his apartment, he finds the ticket. Bugs enters to ask about it, causing a draft to blow the ticket out the window. Daffy scrambles after it and catches it, only to fall into the back of a paper recycling truck...
Porky and Petunia are having a spat over her talk show Petunia! and his lack of interest in the show. Petunia, enraged by Porky's comment about the topics of the show, walks out, slamming the door.
Driving around town only reminds Porky of all the places he and Petunia had been together. He turns to the radio, hoping to find solace. Instead he gets The Painfully Desperate Lonely Hearts' Hour, hosted by Pepe Le Pew, "renowned luuuv expert." The introduction is enough to get Porky to call in for advice.
Porky takes Pepe's advice, but doesn't quite get things right. His note of support is rather unsupportive. His gifts may have been well meant, but come across as insulting. Petunia tells him never to come near her again.
Petunia! starts, with guest Pepe Le Pew. Unaware that Petunia is the girl Porky tried his advice on, Pepe tricks him into appearing on the show. Petunia, Porky, Pepe, and the audience are all stunned. Pepe tries to give one more bit of advice. Porky tells Pepe his advice is bad and apologizes to Petunia, which is all she really wanted all along.
Pepe isn't upset at all, falling instantly for a cat from the audience. The audience seeks escape from Pepe's odor. A panic ensues.
Back at his place, Porky apologizes for making a mess of Petunia's show, but she isn't upset at all. The widespread coverage of the pandemonium was free publicity and the show's ratings went up...
While preparing this COLT entry I came across one copy of this issue which repeats pages 1 through 8, then 27 through 32. Pages 9 through 26 aren't in that copy at all, leaving out both the end to the first story and the entire second story. This is an unusual production error. I checked several copies and found only the single defective copy. Had I only this single issue, I might have claimed that all were defective. (Update, January 1998: I have since found a couple more copies with the same defect...PN)
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Last updated 1 June 1997